When Rest isn’t Restful: Why Acknowledging your Feelings Matters
I’m Resting, but Why Do I Feel so Irritable?
(Note: In my last blog, I talked about the challenge of rethinking ‘productivity’ when you need to rest during recovery. But there’s another common reason why genuine rest can feel so elusive…)
The surprising emotional rollercoaster it can sometimes trigger.
You’ve managed to slow down, maybe you’ve even started to accept that ‘productive rest’ involves things like sleep and gentle activities rather than just ticking off tasks. You settle down, ready for some peace, but instead find yourself feeling irritable, anxious, maybe unexpectedly tearful or overwhelmed by sheer boredom. What’s going on? Why can stillness sometimes feel so… noisy?
It often seems that without the constant distractions of our busy lives, underlying feelings get a chance to surface. Worries about recovery, frustration at limitations, sadness about missed activities, or even unrelated stresses might have been simmering beneath the radar. The quietness of rest simply allows these internal signals to become more apparent.
Our typical reaction when these unwelcome feelings pop up during downtime? Often, we try to dismiss them (“It’s nothing, I’m just tired”) or we start criticising ourselves (“Why am I feeling like this? I should be relaxing!”). We might instinctively try to escape by reaching for our phones or mentally planning ways to be ‘busy’ again.
But constantly battling or ignoring these feelings while trying to rest is exhausting. It keeps our stress system activated and prevents deep restoration. There’s a gentler, more effective approach:
- Acknowledge briefly: Instead of fighting the feeling, try simply noticing its presence without any judgement. “Ah, okay, frustration is here.” Or, perhaps noticing some sadness visiting. This isn’t about analysing it deeply; it’s just a gentle recognition and acceptance for it to be there. If you feel able to, you can start to notice where you feel it in your body, and how it feels. This simple step can reduce the internal friction and stop the added stress of resisting the feeling or feeling like you need to fix it, and instead make room for it. Maybe add a dose of self-understanding: “Well, it is understandable to feel this way right now.”
- Gently redirect your focus: After some time spent acknowledging and accepting, kindly shift your attention to something calming or grounding in your present moment. This is where those ‘restorative activities’ we discussed previously come in handy. Actively tune into the warmth of your drink, the details in a piece of music or audiobook, the sensation of your breath, or the view from your window. This isn’t about suppressing the feeling, but about choosing where you place your focus, preventing yourself from getting stuck.
True rest often involves more than just physical stillness. It requires navigating both the external pressures to ‘do’ and the internal emotional currents that arise. By learning to meet difficult feelings with gentle acknowledgement before kindly redirecting our attention, we can make periods of rest less of a struggle and more of a genuinely supportive space for recovery – an act of profound self-kindness that complements any physical healing taking place.